Being an expecting mother is the absolute best feeling in
the world. At least, that’s what every newspaper, magazine and TV channel
proclaims. And, every time I come across these proclamations, I feel alienated.
Two months ago, around Mother’s day, a
magazine happily announced that if you want to meet the “happiest” person in
the world, just find a woman who is carrying life in her womb. Really? Well, then, what about me?
Now, before you begin to give me that disgust-laden look,
let me explain. It is undeniably an out-of-the world experience to watch the
round, pulsating speck that’s your baby’s heart beating on the computer
monitor, or to look at a tiny nose or a tiny spine in those very first ultrasound images. But —and that’s a
big, emphatic BUT—I wouldn’t rank it
number 1. I’d rank it in the top five—maybe even number 2—but not number 1. Nope.
My teenaged sister (who, like most others, thinks I value my
career above everything else) wondered aloud if being a journalist topped my
list, instead of being a mother. Actually, that makes it to the top 5 too, but
again it’s not number 1. “So, what is
it that makes you happiest?” she asked, intrigued.
“Being with my one true love in a place that’s
breathtakingly lovely and romantically secluded, where we can just be together
without having to worry about whether the water pump is working or what’s to be
cooked for dinner,” I grinned. She
shrugged, smiling. “I guess you’re just different.”
“Why don’t we ask mummy what she thinks?” I suggested. As
our mother entered the room, we told her about our conversation. She was quiet
for a few seconds. And then she surprised me. “You know, honey, what you just
defined is every woman’s best feeling in the world. Having a baby counts, but
it comes second. The stuff about mother hood being number 1 is just lots of
hype.”
I couldn’t believe my ears! This, from the woman who’d joked
with me a hundred times that the single biggest reason she wanted to get
married was to have babies! But I felt infinitely happier. Happier, that
neither I, nor my sister, were the best things that happened to her. It was, in
fact, my father.
And I was happier that there is at least one woman who feels
the same as me. Any of you other ladies out there want to cast your vote in my
favour?
(Read more on my pregnancy experience at www.znaqvisajjad.wordpress.com)
(Read more on my pregnancy experience at www.znaqvisajjad.wordpress.com)
4 comments:
Your feelings are your feelings. You can't learn how you feel by reading a magazine (although you can feel lousy if it tells you you should be feeling great).
I've had three kids - being pregnant the first time was scary, because I had never been a mommy before! And I find teens easier than babies - but some women love having babies. Everyone is different.
Though I can't relate; my mom says the best feeling (as she earlier thought) was being pregnant, then it moved on to seeing her baby for the first time, then it became the time she saw her take her first step, say her first word, her first day at school, her first prize, then her marriage and now the best feeling in my mom's life is when she laid eyes on her grandchild... I think the happiest moment is a constant process rather than focusing on one aspect too much!
And yes, congrats!
Yes, you're right. Every individual is different, and there are a lot of women who love having babies. And you're right about the first time being scary!
Well, I love having my baby, too. But what I hate is that people expect me to love being a mother more than anything else... that's what I object to. People think that having a baby should be top priority in a woman's life. That's the kind of social perception that I hate!
Hi, I can finally reply on my blog so I'm doing it! Well thanks, first of all. And it's very interesting to know what your mom feels about her happiest moment! I'm sure I'd like to know your feelings about this, too, when you do have a baby. You're right about the happiest moment being a constant process.... and it's different for everyone because every huiman being has a different way of thinking. But for me, my happiest moments are all centred around the one obsession of my life and that is the man that I love... that's the point that I was trying to make in this post, that there are some women for whom their baby is not the top most thing in life, the way people expect every woman to be. But then, there are millions out there for whom a baby is certainly the most important, and I'm no one to judge them either!
By the way,I've started a new blog, check it out if you have time http://znaqvisajjad.wordpress.com/
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